Pros and Cons(tipation), by Ben

For two days each quarter Lauren travels to Tuscaloosa for work. I do my best to summon up all my paternal instinct, but when I realized this trip was going to coincide with Riley cutting her last teeth, I prepared for the worst. Things were only exacerbated when I picked her up from Lauren's parents this afternoon with them telling me "I hope she poops, because she didn't go today."

So after an evening full of whining and crying (mostly from Riley), I hear Riley in the other room screaming through her tears "Poo stuck! Poo stuck!". I can only assume that Riley's "Punxsutawney Phil" was trying to emerge from his hole, but somehow managed to get his little brown gopher head stuck. I start running through my mental extraction archive, remembering something that a certain sister of Lauren had once said about a finger sweep maneuver, but the details are fuzzy in my mind.

Just as a I grab my phone to dial 911, Riley rounds the corner with her stroller, struggling to pull Pooh's leg out.

Deep breath, crisis averted, 21 hours until Lauren gets home...